Well, I'm back! My
feet are on English soil (rather soggy and squelchy as you know) and my
head is, well, some where up there at the moment! I can't believe that I
have been in Zambia for six months, and now I'm back. The students and
staff arranged a wonderful 'farewell and thank you' party for me – it
felt as if it was my wedding although there was no groom! They really
know how to party and are so unbelievably generous. I felt very unworthy
of it all; it was just so lovely. So, this is my last email to you on my
Zambian adventure…
On Top of the
World…
One day recently,
I was thinking about my 'best bits' in Zambia, the things that I have
enjoyed the most. Immediately I thought of teaching the students. I have
absolutely loved teaching and learning from both ordinands and
evangelists. We have been on such a rollercoaster of learning, such a
journey of discoveries and sometimes dead-ends. The students have been
so hungry to know more, and to understand more of our living God in the
colourful and crazy world in which we live. They have grilled me and I
have grilled them, and we have had many passionate and soul-searching
debates and conversations! We also asked some good questions – like when
we were discussing how it is that whenever you talk of some aspect of
Paul's theology, you always have to have a 'but' in the explanation, and
Isaac, looking thoughtful, teasingly said 'Do you think Paul was an
Anglican…?!' Yes, I found it such an honour and privilege teaching and
learning from the students, and I have loved it. But it's not my 'top of
the world' moment…
I have loved
worshipping with the community at the Seminary. To worship God everyday
with your friends, your brothers and sisters, is such a blessing. To be
able to have the freedom to create different services and join in with
the rest of the worldwide Church in singing praise to God, has been
amazing. But this hasn't been my 'top of the world' moment either… Was
it seeing Victoria Falls? Well, that was certainly breath-taking, but
not quite the best.
So what has been
the thing that has been the best, the moment(s) when I've been on
'top of the world'? It's something so simple really. You might not
believe me, but it's true. When I remember my time at the Seminary, my
most precious moments and top-of-the-world times have been when I have
shared laughter with someone. The laughter of friendship. Because when
you laugh with someone, that laughter cuts through any barriers that
divide, that laughter joins your hearts together and you become one, you
share in a moment so intimate and beautiful. The laughter that bursts
out from the heart and mouth of your companion reaches out and touches
you and clings to you and pulls you forward into an even deeper intimate
friendship, one that I can only imagine existed before that darned apple
came into the equation. And when you share in laughter, that laughter
erases all other pain, suffering, hurt, troubles, burdens; it wipes away
all tears, wounds and scars. Laughter is something so heavenly and so
beautiful; it is when love touches you and lifts your spirit, when grace
fills you and heals you, when joy intoxicates you. Laughter lifts the
veil and reveals Christ in the face of each one of us.
I have been so
blessed, because God has blessed me with laughter among friends and
strangers – and now even though those friends are so far away from me, I
still hear them laughing in my heart, I still see their beautiful
smiles, I still feel the grasp of their hand, I still feel the leap of
my heart, and I know that we aren't far apart. I know that we'll never
be far apart, for God is faithful and laughs with us and holds us
together in his hands.
Culture Shock?
Often when people
have spent some time overseas in a very different country from one's own
home country, on returning 'home', you can suffer from 'reverse culture
shock'. I experienced this a little after returning from Tanzania three
years ago, but this time, it hasn't really struck me too much. You see,
after a while, you start seeing past the poverty or wealth, beyond the
open sewers or high towers, through the destitution or the glitz, and
you just see the people. And I have found that beneath the layers of
culture, people from Zambia and people from the North East are quite
similar! On the morning of my departure from Kitwe, I left with many
firm handshakes, hugs, kisses, laughs, tears and words of meaning and
warmth. And when I arrived in Sunderland, I was greeted with many firm
handshakes, hugs, kisses, laughs, tears and words of meaning and warmth.
People from Kitwe and people from Sunderland are similar – they both
have big hearts and wide smiles, they both have warmth and friendliness
– and they both hold a very special place in my heart. And one has
chickens, the other pigeons…
When I met 'Miss
Hopeful' and 'Miss Generous' and 'Mr Grateful' in Kitwe, I had a feeling
I had already met them before somewhere else… And when I realised what
it meant to love with reckless abandon, I knew that I had seen it
somewhere else before… And when I discovered how much I treasure sharing
laughter and intimacy with friends in Kitwe, I realised I had treasured
it somewhere else before…
Big Thanks
I would like to
thank you all so much for your support, prayers and love. I have been
very aware of this whilst being away, and it has carried me and helped
me to have such an amazing, life-changing time in Zambia. Of course,
special heart-felt thanks go out to my wonderful parents, David and
Sheila. Please continue to hold the staff and students at St John's
Seminary in your prayers.
And I thank God
for being faithful. For being so faithful. I am only writing this to you
because of God, because He gave me the courage to be who I am, because
He gave me the courage to try to love with reckless abandon, because He
gave me the courage to open my eyes and see the world, because He gave
me love so that I could believe, because He gave me the grace to reach
out and touch others, because He gave me the hope so that I could dream
dreams of heaven on earth, and because He blessed me so that I could
begin to see them coming true…
So, there we
go…!
That's it from
Zambia! Some of you are asking what I will be doing next – well, in a
nutshell, I'll be going to Ridley Hall in Cambridge in September to
train to be a priest in the Anglican Church (just a tad excited…!). Of
course, I'll still keep up my newly found hobby of football with my team
of chickens (managed to stash them in my hand luggage and I did a triple
leap, two forward somersaults, one scissor jump and a forward flip
through the air over security at Heathrow and landed safely in terminal
one. No one noticed.) I'll also carry on with my crusade against the
triffids and my attempts at making chapattis, and I'll perfect the art
of burning water (yes, you can burn water…). And of course, I'll keep on
laughing, laughing with you, laughing with my friends in Kitwe, and
laughing with new friends in Ridley…
I will leave you
with something that I wrote in my diary in March – and I think it is
still true today: ' At the beginning of each day I remember how much
I need to depend on God's grace, love and strength; and at the end of
each day I remember how I have seen God's grace (beyond imagination),
love (beyond understanding) and strength (beyond belief), through the
people that I been blessed enough to meet .'
May we all come to know God's love as
we have never known love before, may we come to experience fellowship as
we have never known intimacy before, and may we laugh with love as we
have never laughed before.
God bless, much love,
Emma xxx
